Why It Hurt So Much
by All Fall Apart
Summary: Tony and Gibbs have an argumentand things go on from there. That's about it. I'm really bad at writing summaries, so don't base it on this. It only has some mild languaage, I'm not sure of the rating so it's gong to be T.
1. Gibbs

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own any of these characters. They are all owned by DPB. **

**This is my first fanfic, I can't wait to hear what you think. If you liked please comment or if you have some sort of comment, please do.**

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><p>"What the hell were you doing back there?" Gibbs said, his voice raising as he talked.<p>

"I was saving your ass, Boss." Tony said, his voice starting to rise also.

"I didn't need you to save me. I had told you that no matter what, you weren't to enter the building." Gibbs voice almost to a shout now.

"I know what you told me! You put me in charge, I was doing what I thought was best. I also think it turned out better than the plan that you had set up." Tony spat back.

"I'm regretting putting you in charge, because I know that McGee and Ziva would never disobey my orders. It also seems that you are so into being Mr. Hero that your thick head can't follow any orders." Gibbs instantly wanted to take back that statement, he saw the hurt in Tony's green eyes then they quickly hardened.

"At least I don't have a damn death wish!" Tony said his voice full of vehemence. Tony then spun on his heels and went to the stairs not wanting to wait for the elevator. Being with Gibbs in the elevator was something he wouldn't do at the moment.

Gibbs stood there his mouth hanging open a bit, surprised at the coldness in Tony's voice.

Ziva and McGee were watching the argument a few feet back. "I've never seen Gibbs that mad or Tony for that matter." Ziva whispered to McGee.

"Yeah, Tony's voice was so cold on that last statement." McGee whispered back.

The elevator opened and McGee and Ziva started walking towards it, but Gibbs stopped them. "No, you guys are going to be on the next one."

McGee and Ziva nodded, taking a step back and the doors close in front of them. McGee sighed, "Want to take the stairs. Knowing Gibbs he's probably already stopped the elevator."

"Yeah, let's go." Ziva said walking towards the stairs.

Once the doors shut Gibbs shut down the elevator. He started to punch at the wall, but quickly opens his hands. He didn't break any fingers that way, but it still hurt like hell.

"Damn it, Tony," Gibbs said. _I know you did what you thought was best. It was what was best, _Gibbs reflected. _Do I really have a death wish?_ Gibbs remembers all the times that he had almost died. There was Ari, the bomb on the ship, and others.

Tony was up the stairs, he threw his bag behind his desk and walked fast to the men's bathroom.

He stood in front of the mirror, feeling lonely. His mask slipped as tears welled up in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have gotten mad; _I know I did the right thing._

The tears fell down his face leaving a wet streak down his cheek, the tear falling onto the counter. His shoulders shook as his quiet tears turn into raking sobs.

"Damn it, Gibbs!" Tony said through his sobs. "You're one of the only people I let get close. If you died…" Tony stopped not able to think about the possibilities.

When Gibbs got out of the elevator he saw Ziva look up, a worried expression on her face as she looked up at Tony' s desk. McGee was just staring at his computer, not doing anything.

"Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs barks, making Ziva wipe the worry from her face and making McGee snap out of his own world.

"I don't know," Ziva said, "he wasn't here when we came up."

Gibbs looked down at his watch and saw that he had been in the elevator for over an hour.

"There he is, Boss" McGee said

Tony looked up and saw them staring, he flashes one of his DiNozzo smiles though the smile doesn't reach his eyes. "What's everyone staring at? Did I grow a second head?"

Gibbs saw the strain in forcing the bright smile and saw that Tony's eyes were red and a bit puffy.

Abby came running up, "Oh my god, Gibbs. Are you hurt I heard you were held at gun point. That Tony had to save-"

Abby stopped when she looked over at Tony, noticing his eyes. Then looking over at Gibbs seeing the how cold his eyes were. She backed away from Gibbs and went over to hug Tony.

Tony gratefully hugged her back, "Thanks, Abs." Tony whispered.

"Come over so we can have a movie night tonight and to talk." Abby whispered back. Then stepping back, her arms still around Tony, letting him know that she was there for him.

"Yeah I like that idea. Who's car?" Tony asked not caring about everyone watching their exchange.

"Yours." Once she had said that, Abby started to walk back to her lab. Her black pony tails swung back and forth and her white lab coat swirled behind her.

Gibbs, Ziva, and McGee watched the encounter with different emotions and thoughts going through their heads. McGee was jealous, Ziva was curious. Gibbs was sad, he was sad that he couldn't give Tony the comfort that Abby had just done, also that he was the reason that Tony needed the comfort in the first place.

Tony walked back to his desk and started typing his report for the case, ignoring the stares and glares he was getting.


	2. Abby

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, DPB does. **

**I decided to do another chapter, instead of a story that goes along with it.**

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><p>Tony was so engrossed on typing he hadn't notice Abby's black platform booted feet walk up to his desk. Abby stood there for about 30 seconds, then went around back of him and put her arms around him.<p>

As her arms went around Tony flinched. "Hey," Tony looks up at Abby. "Didn't see you there."

"Ready to go?" she asked as she withdrew her arms.

"Yeah, let's leave this popsicle stand." Tony stood. "See you guys tomorrow." Tony said off handedly.

"Bye Tony." McGee and Ziva said in almost perfect unison. McGee sending a wistful look at Tony and Abby.

Tony looked over at Gibbs and he was just looking at his computer. A sad expression flashed across Tony's face, he pushed the feeling of disappointment.

"Bye, guy's" Abby said directly after Tony, getting more of a response from McGee and an actual response from Gibbs.

"Bye, Abby. I hope you have good night." McGee said with a bit too much energy. Gibbs just nodded at Abby.

Tony sighs, putting his arm around Abby's shoulders and led her to the elevator. Once in the elevator he pulled her into a hug, she hugged him back pulling him close.

"Don't you think we should tell them soon?" Abby asked Tony. "You know… About us?"

"Yeah, we should tell them soon, but not yet. You know about rule twelve." Tony said as he ran a hand through his hair, and then smiled. "I don't think McGee would take it very well either. You should have seen the glare he gave me after you left."

Abby chuckled, "Yeah, well, he'll get over it. What about Ziva?" She attempted to fix the hair that he messed up.

Tony gave Abby a confused look, "You mean she has a crush on you! I didn't think she was bi." There was a ding and the silver doors slide open in front of them.

Abby punched Tony as they walk out of the elevator, "No, she likes you!"

"Don't have to punch so hard." Tony said rubbing his arm, giving Abby one of his small genuine smiles. "What makes you think that she likes me? Isn't she dating that guy from the CIA? Wasn't his name Ray?"

"She was, but I think she broke up with him, because of some trust issues. I don't know all the information, all I know is that it had something to do with the port-to-port killer."

"Oh, I didn't know that." Tony said looking distracted as they walked towards Tony's car.

"At first I thought that I had lost you to EJ." Abby said looking down, a sad tint in her voice. "You had Gibbs all pissed off, because he didn't trust EJ and then you were dating her…" Abby trailed off.

Tony stopped, turned around and put his pointer finger under Abby's chin. He looks straight into her eyes. "You never lost me; I was just blinded by how I was going to be getting the team that she had, if I had wanted to at the time. I was also mad at Gibbs, felt like I need to get back at him. I love you. "

"Wait, when were you going to get your own team?" Abby interrupted, not responded to what Tony had meant with the 'I love you.'

"I was after Gibbs got back from Mexico, Jenny said I was ready." a sad tint came to his eyes at the mention of Jenny's name, also from the disappointment at the lock of noticing on Abby's side.

Abby put her hand on his shoulder, "You know that it wasn't your fault. You were following the director's orders."

"I know, but I still feel guilty." Tony said, resting his hand on top of Abby's.

"So what kind of pizza do you want?" Abby said cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"You know what I want, a large pizza with sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese." Tony flashed a smile of thanks to Abby for changing the subject. Though the smile didn't reach his eyes, but he had a lot of practice hiding his real feelings.

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><p><strong>Don't worry there is going to be more chapters to come.<strong>


	3. McGee

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the characters. DPB does.**

**Here's the next chapter, i know it's really short, but i couldn't figure out what enlse to do.**

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><p>Tony had a fun night with Abby. They watched Zombie Land, curled up on the couch. Tony took Abby home around 10; they had work the next day.<p>

Tony walked out from the elevator; he felt a lot better than yesterday and was ready to pretend that it didn't bother him. Seeing McGee and Ziva having a discussion quietly, their heads bent towards each other. Tony walked quietly towards them, planning on scaring them, He started to hear what they were saying and he started smiling, but stopped when he heard McGee's anger.

"I hate him!" McGee whispered furiously, Tony looked at McGee. Even at this distance he could see the anger in his eyes.

"You don't mean that McGee." Ziva said in a soothing voice that you normally didn't hear from Ziva. Her face was concerned, her eyes sympathetic. Tony had gotten rather good at reading people's eyes, he can always tell what's going on with them.

"Yes, I do." McGee said back. "Why does Tony get to have everything? He gets to be senior field agent, he bosses us around and… and I just wish he wasn't on our team." McGee said his voice full on vehemence. Tony paled; he didn't know what to do. Then anger sparked in him, McGee had no reason to hate Tony, it wasn't his fault that he was senior field agent.

"If that's how you really feel, I wish that you would at least have said it to my face." Tony said his voice hard, making a decision that he was going to tell McGee how he felt.

"Tony!" McGee yelped.

Then something happened, that both McGee and Ziva weren't expecting. Tears formed in Tony's eyes, not being able to hold the sadness in him anymore. The anger left almost as quick as it had come and Tony didn't have time to regain his composure.

"Tony." Ziva said with concern in her voice.

"I'm sorry you feel that way McGee." Tony voice cracked with the strain holding the tears back. Tony then turned and headed towards the Directors office, sending panic to McGee. Though as Tony got near the stairs he walked past them.

Tony walked over to the corner by the stairs, and leaned against the wall. He took a deep breath, blinking back the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes. "Dammit." Tony whispered to himself. He had never shed a tear in front of anyone in DC.

Tony looked at the ground and took deep breaths. _I don't think Tim could really mean it, could he?_

Tony shook his head, clearing his mind and thinking about what he should do.

_Why is everything going wrong in my life, all at once?_ Tears formed in his eyes and he let them come down, closing his eyes, he let himself feel all the sadness, he had been holding in.

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><p><strong>I would like to thank everyone who has commented on my stories. I have only gotten positive comments. Again Thank You :)<strong>

**I have gotton some really good idea's but i think that I am going to change what i was going to do with the next few chapters using your idea's. Thanks to everyone. I also changed it to in-progress, I had had a different idea before and was doing a serise with them being their own story that's why it had been put as complete. **


	4. Accidential Ducky, Ziva, and Palmer

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the characters, they are owned by DPB.**

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><p>Tony jerked as he had felt a hand on his arm. Expecting to see Abby he let the pain show on his face. Though his face changed to one of hurt to one of surprise, it wasn't Abby, it was Ducky.<p>

"I- um. Ducky." Tony said quickly recovering from his surprise. Putting on a smile, hoping that Ducky might not have seen his face before.

"I heard everything," Ducky said, "it's not your fault that he feels that way." Ducky ran his hand through his hair. A guilty expression on his face as he looks down at the ground away from Tony.

"What do you mean? With what he said-" Tony was interrupted by Ducky.

"It was a prank that Ziva, Palmer, and I did. We didn't think he would react like that."

"What did you guys do?"

"We left a note that was in Abigail's hand writing your desk. Mr. Palmer is quite good at copying peoples handwriting. He even went and got one of Abigail's pens. Then we had Ziva 'find' the note. She didn't really want to do it. She saw how bad you had been yesterday." Tony looked at Ducky with a confused look.

"How do you know about yesterday?" Tony asked

"Well, McGee came down to ask me if you guy's had ever had an arguement like this before. I remember the one time-"

"Never mind about past times, you we're telling me the prank"

"Um, yeah well. She did agree after a bit of begging. Also I had told her that you probably weren't that upset over what happened. So then when McGee came in she got up and walked to your desk. She then said Abby left it, also that she wouldn't tell Ziva what it was. She then read it aloud. It had said 'Can't wait for tonight! I was wondering if I should be dressed up?' We didn't know he would react that bad. McGee then grabbed the note read it, then he started to blow up. Anthony, are you ok?"

Tony had gotten pale as Ducky revealed the reason for McGee's reaction. That meant, McGee really did hate him. It wasn't just a thing he was saying, it was real. The tears came again, he let them fall again.

"Ah. Ducky, there you-" Gibbs said stopping suddenly when he saw Tony's state. His expression somewhat confused. He had never see Tony cry, or look devastated before. "Tony, what's wrong?"

Tony wiped away the few of tears that fell. "No, there's nothing that's ok." Tony's voice was gruff. He looks Gibbs straight in to the face, the tears leaving streak marks down Tony's cheeks. "You almost die, and then you tell me you wish you hadn't put me in charge. Then I tell Abby I love her and she totally ignores it, then I hear McGee hates me. Also now McGee really does, not just because of the stupid prank! Apparently it's also tons of funs to do that kind of prank. I can see Ziva doing it, though I didn't think you were the type Ducky."

Gibbs and Ducky stare at Tony, their mouths involuntarily dropping open. Tony quickly covered his mouth, realizing what he had just said. Tony went even paler, he quickly ran towards the bathroom, ready to dispose of his breakfast into the toilet.

Gibbs and Ducky stared after him, surprised with what he just heard. The silence was broken when Ducky said "Oh, my. It seems that my joke is completely real for Tony. I seem to have done the wrong thing."

Ziva and McGee saw Tony run towards the way of the bathroom. McGee stood, but noticed the paleness of Tony's skin. McGee stood there staring after Tony, then looked down at to Ziva. "What should I do? Should I apologize to him?" McGee said his voice full of worry.

"I think that you should wait a little, McGee. Wait till he has composed himself, he never likes to be seen when his mask is down." Ziva said her voice neutral.

"What do you mean, 'with his mask down'?" McGee asked.

"It's hard to tell but you have to look deep into Tony's eyes to see all the hurt and sadness in his eyes. He hides it; he tries to not let people get close, defiantly after the incident with Jeanne." Ziva said with sadness in her eyes. "The people he is closest to is Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, Palmer, You, and Me. So it has to hurt a lot to hear Gibbs say that he regretted putting Tony in charge. Also when he heard that you said that you hated him, it hurt him a lot."

"I didn't-" McGee was interrupted by Gibbs suddenly beside him, and a sudden pain to the back of his head.

"Would you really hate Tony if he was dating Abby?" Gibbs asked going straight to the point. His hand going down, from giving McGee a famous Gibb's Slap.

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the support and the great idea's. :)<strong>


	5. The Reason

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, DPB does.**

**I found my original copy of this chapter and I combined the two a bit to get this version.**

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><p>"What! No, I never would hate Tony, just I thought that Tony was playing a joke and he knows that I like Abby a lot and that it would annoy me, I would never really hate Tony!" McGee said dragging in air. Having said the whole sentence in one breath.<p>

"Hey guys!" Abby said. "Why wasn't I invited to the party?"

"This is hardly a party Abigail." Ducky said forlornly.

"What do you mean? Where's Tony?" Abby asked official concerned now.

"He's in the bathroom." Gibbs said short and sweet. Something he never does to Abby. "McGee," Gibbs said turning back to him, "Tony really is dating Abby, what you said was thoughtless. You need to go to the bathroom and apologize."

"H-How do you know Gibbs?" Abby asked, actually relieved that she doesn't have to tell them anymore.

"Tony told Ducky and me in a fit of hysteria that we have been causing him." Gibbs voice was hard. "Also why didn't you respond to what he said last night?"

"What? What do you mean?" Abby said feeling insecure at the wrath of Gibbs glare.

"He told you he loved you last night. Do you know how hard it is for Tony to say those words?"

"I- wait he, I just didn't realize what he meant when he said it last night. It was after he was telling me that I had nothing to worry about when EJ came." Abby said looking like she was almost in tears.

Gibbs glare softened seeing the tears falling from her eyes; he pulled her into a hug. "I know you didn't mean to hurt him." Gibbs whispered into her hair. Stepping back he asked. "I sometimes go into interrogation mode when it comes to Tony?"

Gibbs pulled back "Why was Tony so upset at what I said to him, in the argument? We've had big arguments before, though they never seemed to get so personal" Gibbs looked down to Abby, truly confused.

"Well…" Abby said hesitant to tell Tony's secret. "Wait, you guys have had arguments like this before?"

"Yeah, but normally Tony comes to my house because his neighbors complained about the noise. So he comes then we have our argument then we would have some beer and talk. Normally we come out closer than before." Gibbs swallowed, he actually didn't mean to say so much. "Abby, I asked you a question.

"Right, Gibbs," She said, "We are really, really important to Tony, more than you guys think. Tony, he looks up to you like a father. Someone he can trust and someone he knows he has his six. Though one thing is he wants your approval, he wants to know that you trust him. Also the most important thing is that he did a good job. He always wants to hear that he did something that pleased you."

Abby paused and thought about her statement. "Actually, he doesn't think of you as his father. He thinks you as better than his father. He always said that he never wanted to compare you to his father. That you were 100's of times better than his father.

Gibbs looked at Abby and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Abby started talking again, turning towards McGee. "Timmy, he thinks of you as a brother, someone he could come to and would understand." She put a hand on his shoulder, "I wanted to tell you guys about us, but he was always worried about you. How would you react, would you hate him, that's what he thought about. So he used the excuse of rule # 12. He does that annoying stuff to toughen you up. He wants you to be at your best, even if it means that you might get mad at him. "

Abby then turned towards Ziva, "You're like his younger sister that has grown up. He knows that you can take care of yourself, but he still wants to protect you.

"Ducky, you're like the awesome uncle who tells cool facts and cares for him. I know that you think that no one really listens that often to your stories. Though Tony does.

"Also Jimmy," Abby looked around, "where is he?"

"It's his day off today." Ducky said from behind her.

"Oh, well, he is Tony's best friend. I'm not sure how much you notice when Tony get upset. I don't even see it all the time either. Though Jimmy always saw it, he was always there for Tony to talk to. Defiantly after Gibbs left for Mexico."

Abby looked at each of them, pausing for a second. "I'm not sure if Tony ever told you guys, but Tony's father cut off all his ties with him when he wanted to become a cop. His father never was there, neither was his mother, and he was an only child. We're like Tony's real family, sometimes…" Abby trailed off, looking down.

"Sometimes," Abby started again, "I think that we are the only thing keeping Tony alive." Her voice cracked.

"I knew we were close," Ducky said sadness in his voice, "but I never thought that he thought of us like that."

Abby looked at Gibbs tears forming in her eyes again. "I," Gibbs swallowed, "always have thought of him as a son, I have always had his six, and he is one of my best agents. I just never thought that he thought of my as a father figure and never thought that he need to hear my approval, I thought he knew that he did a good job." A sad glint was in Gibbs eyes as he finished.

"Do you-" Abby started

"There's Tony!" Ziva said suddenly, interupting Abby.

Tony walked up to Gibbs, looking down at the ground he said "I'm sick, can I go home, please?"

"Of course Tony, you need someone to drive you?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"No, I'll be fine driving home." Tony said brushing past them to his desk, gathering his things and walking towards the elevator.

Once Tony left they stared after him, for a while even when the elevator doors had closed.

"You were saying something Abbs?" Gibb asked, his voice neutral.

"Um... Oh yeah," Abby said. "Do you guys know why we are so important to Tony?" She looked around and everyone shook their heads. "Well when Tony was 9, his mother had died. Though that's not really the tragic thing about it. The tragic thing is his father became abusive after that. He wasn't a good father. His birthdays were forgotton, christmases were with the servants, Tony never really celebrated any holiday with his family. That wasn't the end either, when Tony decided to not take up the family business Senior got really mad, and disinherited him. One thing I hate about Senior is that he gets people to do what he wants. So everyone in Tony's family was appalled that he ddin't want to follow his dad. None of his family did."

"Wait," Gibbs said stopping Abby"

"Well, Senior left scars on Tony's back. When he was changing he came out with is shirt off and I saw and asked. He said that he wanted to tell someone ... though he never knew who to tell.

"So we showed him that he is actually worth something to some one." Abby started to cry again, McGee pulled her into his arms. They stood there, again, for a while.

The silence was broken by McGee, "What are we doing! We should have apologized, I'm going after him. Maybe I can catch him, he shouldn't be left alone anyways."

"I'm driving." Gibbs said walking towards his desk for his gun and badge. Ziva and McGee followed, once everything was gathered they headed towards the parking garage. "We should take two cars. Ziva, you take Abby and Ducky." Gibbs looked around.

"Ok, McGee you're with me."

They split going to the cars, then they headed to the garage exit. l

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><p><strong>Please review :)<strong>


	6. The Club

**Disclamer: I don't own any of this, DPB does.**

**I also don't own the song.**

**Sorry for the long wait, marching band just ended last saturday**

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><p>"Ziva," Gibbs said into his cell phone, realizing that he never told her where to go. "We are going to Tony's house; you know where that is don't you?"<p>

"Actually, Gibbs." Ziva said "I don't know, have never actually been to his house."

"Neither have I, Boss." McGee said from the passenger seat.

"Ducky, hasn't either." Ziva said from the other line. "Though Abby has."

"Kay' that should work, I will lead the way, I've been to Tony's many times." Gibbs said a small smile forming. One that McGee noticed he only shows when he is talking to Tony or Shannon and Kelly.

Gibbs shut the phone and once they excited the garage speed off towards Tony's.

When they arrived at Tony's his car was outside his apartment building. They saw Tony walking back to his car with what looked like a guitar case in his hand.

Tony need to distract himself, he only knew one place. He started his car back up and drove off in such a way that Gibbs might have even been surprised. He drove for about 25 minutes though that was surprising; the trip normally took 35. He was so distracted he didn't notice the two cars following since he left his apartment.

He looked up and smiled and was greeted by The Jazzy Blues. It was a club Tony had started going to since Jeanne had left and said that she murdered her father. Tony hadn't really known where he was going when he got there, he just like the name and the color of the letters, a dark, beautiful blue.

He walked up to the guard and said "Anthony DiNozzo, I'm on the list."

The guard gave him a smile, "I remember you, we had a few beers after my shift was over about a week ago."

"Oh yeah," Tony said, "We should do that again, that was a lot of fun."

"Yeah it was." The guard said "See you later."

Gibbs and the others watched the exchange, apparently he had been there before.

"Let's go.' Gibbs said to McGee and he started to get out of the car. McGee quickly got out and Ziva, Abby, and Ducky came over to Gibbs.

"I think we are a little dressed down for this place,"McGee said, "Everyone is dressed all snazzy."

"We'll be fine." Gibbs said and he started walking towards the door Tony had just entered. "We are friends of Anthony DiNozzo." Gibbs said to the guard.

"Oh… Mr. Gibbs I remember you, you here the last time I had drinks with Tony." The guard giving a careful smile to Gibbs, he also remembered how Gibb's glare practically made him run for his life.

"Yeah that was fun, we should do that again." Gibbs said giving the guard a smile so that he would relax a bit.

"What's the name of your friends here?" The Guard said his voice more relaxed and his smile more comfortable.

"Abigail Sciuto, Donald Mallard, Timothy McGee, and Ziva David, they should be on the list also." Gibbs smiled again, he could already hear the questions he would be getting.

"Alright, you can go in."

"I think I should wait for Jimmy." Ducky said, looking worried. As he finished his sentence he heard his assistance voice.

"Hey, I was wondering do you know if Tony and Gibbs came in?" Jimmy asked the guard.

"Mr. Palmer," Ducky said, "we are over here."

"Oh…" Jimmy said looking down.

"Hey, Jimmy," the guard asked Palmer. "Are you and Tony giving another performance tonight?"

"Actually, yes we are but I was running late, I have to get in there. Tony's going to kill me. I was surprised, normally we don't give performances on work nights." Palmer said running into the building.

"What was that all about?" McGee asked looking so confused he was going to fall over.

"I guess we will see when we go in." Gibbs said walking through the door way into a dim lit room.

The room was big; the majority of the colors were black and blue.

"I guess that explains the name of the place." Ziva said as they heard Jazz music start to play.

The tables were in back, they were black with an elegant blue design on them. The chairs had the same design. There was a huge dance floor, the same as the chairs and tables. The bar was closer to the tables. The lighting was white and blue, on the other end was a stage. Where a man in a silky green shirt sat with his guitar and a slightly younger man at the piano. The man started to sing;

_I've got a query  
>So I'll riddle you<br>You and your theories,  
>Divine false and true<br>But what about  
>The gnawing doubt inside<br>Here's mud in your eye_

_Oh the beholder_

_So steadfast and true_

_Observing the wreckage_

_From his point of view_

_In revolt of long lost hope_

_Oh, yeah_

_Here's mud in your eye_

Gibbs turned towards the stage, he knew who was up there, but he had never heard him sing this song.

_I'm thoughtful and_

_I'm gloomy and_

_Bitter and blue_

_Thoughtful and_

_Gloomy and_

_Bitter and blue_

"Oh my, I never knew that he could sing!" Abby whispered in awe.

_So give me an answer_

_A place and a time_

_A way to advance_

_A cosmic sign_

_And I'll show you_

_My point of view_

_Oh, yeah_

_Yeah, I'll show you_

_I haven't been happy_

_In such a long time_

_Cloudy and grey skies_

_Instead of sunshine_

_I guess that's how_

_I'm looking now_

_So pale_

_Like I'm in disguise_

Ziva and McGee stared at the man on stage, their mouths hanging open. On the stage, sitting on the stool, was Tony.

_I'm thoughtful and_

_I'm gloomy and_

_Bitter and blue_

_So Thoughtful and_

_Gloomy and_

_Bitter and blue_

_If it's precious then why is it so cheap?_

_I haven't been happy_

_In such a long time_

_Cloudy and grey skies_

_Instead of sunshine_

_I guess thats how_

_I'm looking now_

_So pale_

_Like I'm in disguise_

_I'm thoughtful and…  
>I'm gloomy and…<br>Bitter and blue  
>Thoughtful and…<br>Gloomy and…  
>Bitter and blue<em>

_I'm feeling so thoughtful and _

_Gloomy and _

_Bitter and Blue_

_So thoughtful and_

_Gloomy and _

_Bitter and Blue_

_I've been so _

_Thoughtful_

_And gloomy_

_And bitter and blue_

_So thoughtful and_

_Gloomy and _

_Bitter and blue_

_Oh_

Tony finished singing his song, he closed his eyes holding the last note, hearing the applause. He reopens his eyes, looked around, his eyes seeing his team, his family. He visibly paled and he stood and walked to Jimmy. "Did you know that Gibbs and the others were here?" Tony asked

"Yeah, I saw them walk in, they also called me saying you were coming here right after you called.

"Oh… I see. Let's go, I feel like an idiot having a conversation on the stage." Tony and Jimmy walked off and headed to the door.

Gibbs started to walk towards Tony as he walked off the stage. Suddenly he noticed that he wasn't going to the bar, he was going towards the exit. Tony exited through the door and Gibbs quickly followed him through it, with Abby and the others following.

"Tony!" Gibbs called out. Tony turned Gibbs grabbed his arm, stopping his flee.

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><p><strong>I hope that you enjoyed this segment. I should post the next section soon.<strong>

**The next section is the last section.**


	7. Redemption

**I don't own any of the characters, DPB does.**

**Here is the last section of it. Hope you like it :)**

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><p>"Something you need?" Tony asked, his voice over cheery.<p>

"We need to talk, Tony." Gibbs said softly, "We all need to have a talk."

"What is there to have a talk about," Tony said. "I really need to go back home, we have work tomorrow, we shouldn't be out too late." Tony tried to walk away but Gibb's grip on his arm never loosened.

"We need to talk and we are going to do it tonight." Gibbs said, he looked back and saw the others behind and Palmer had stopped walking when Gibbs pulled Tony aside.

"Abby, will you explain to Jimmy what is going on." Gibbs asked.

Palmer shook his head, "I don't need to know what this is about, I already know."

"How could you?" Abby asked, "Most the stuff was revealed just today."

"Um…" Palmer looked at Tony, Tony gave a slight nod and a small smile. "Well, since Gibbs left you guys all seemed to act normal. I remember Tony comforting Abby or talking reassuringly to the others. Though it seemed that Tony had no one to talk to, so one day I asked. Since then Tony has always came for me with his problem."

"I'm surprised you're not mad at Mr. Palmer too." Ducky said to Tony.

Tony smiled a bit wider then last time; Jimmy asked me permission to write the note. I thought it was just him, also in some ways it was testing to see how Tim would react." Tony smiled towards Jimmy. "Though he never told me what it said, also I never thought that you guys would go far enough to add all the details that Abby would have."

"Yeah, that's basically it." Palmer said, "When Tony told me what happened, when he was on the way home from leaving the office." Palmer looked at Gibbs, "I also wasn't surprised that you would be here, I've been with Tony a lot here, and I knew you would know where this was."

Gibbs stared at Palmer; he had never really thought that Palmer was that observant. "Ok, how about we go to your place and we can talk." Gibbs said finally, "Please, Tony."

Tony's jaw dropped when he heard the words please come from his voice. "o-ok, boss"

"Jimmy you can drive your car, um McGee will you go with Tony?" Gibbs asked

"Sure, Boss." McGee looked over in time for Tony to swallow and for paler.

"Ok, then let's go." Gibbs said walking towards the cars, "Ducky how about you ride with me?"

They got into the cars, Tony put his guitar in to the backseat and McGee went around to the passenger seat. Tony got it into the driver seat, "Buckle, McGee." McGee buckled up and Tony put the car into gear and followed Gibbs out of the clubs parking lot.

They drove in silent until McGee spoke up. "Tony, I would like to talk to you before we get to your house."

"Ok… I understand that you hate me. I mean I know that you really liked Abby…" Tony trailed off.

"That's the point, Tony." McGee said, "I don't hate you, I thought you were pulling a prank and you were dragging Abby into it." McGee looked at Tony's face. "I… I actually have found someone, I was a bit iffy on her since I meet her online. After you pulled that prank and I fell in love with a fictional person, but I met her. She is really nice and she's hot."

Tony looked at McGee, "Really that's awesome, Probie!" McGee relaxed hearing his nickname. "Do you have a picture of her?"

"Yeah, one second." McGee pulled out his IPhone and found a picture. "Here this is her."

Tony looked, looked at the road, and back again. "Wow, Probie I bet she's burnt with how hot she is."

"Tony look at the road." Tony was drifting over to the other lane and barely missed a semi.

McGee's phone started to ring "McGee." McGee said into the phone. "No, everything is fine, Tony just got distracted by something." There was a pause, "No, we aren't killing each other." McGee said rolling his eyes towards Tony. Tony smiled, he would never kill his Probie, and he loved him too much. Tony smiled again, of course he meant brotherly love.

McGee shut the phone, "Honestly, wouldn't you think that Gibbs would be more rational?"

"So," Tony said uncertain, "we're cool right?"

"Of course," McGee responded, "I love you…. In a brotherly way."

"You better, otherwise I'm pretty sure that I can't look at you if you loved me any other way." Tony teased as McGee shook his head.

They arrived at Tony's house, Gibbs and the others were already out. McGee and Tony got out of the car, Tony walked up to McGee and pulled him into a hug, McGee returned the hug.

Tony kept his arm around McGee's shoulder as he walked up the stairs to his apartment. He let go and unlocked the door and walked in, everyone filed in after him.

They all went into his living room and saw the wall of DVDs all around. "Wow, Tony I didn't know that you had this many." McGee stared ahead.

They settled down and sat, " I would like to go first." Ducky said, "I would like to apologize for my childish prank that I pulled."

"I am to sorry." Ziva said, "When I came to America I would never have done such a thing."

"Me too, Tony." Palmer said, "I should have told you more spacifics of what the plan was... you may have stopped me from doing something so rude."

"I forgive you all, basically I wasn't really mad at any of you, but I was just upset at what the results were of the prank." Tony said looking down.

"Thank you Anthony." Ducky said

Ziva stood up and walked over to him, "Thank you Tony." She said and bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Palmer came over, Tony stood, and Palmer hugged Tony. "Thank you." Tony held Palmer a little longer then need. He could feel the tears that dripped on his shirt. "You will always be my best friend." Tony whispered to him.

Palmer pulled back and walked off to the bathroom, to let his apperence return to normal, no tear streaks, no red eyes, no blotchy-ness.

Abby stood, "Tony," she whispered, "I love you, too." She went and hugged him. He put his arms around her. He held on tighter when she started to cry harder.

"I still stand by what I say." Tony whispered, "I will always love you." This made Abby's tears start to subside. She smiled up at him. How she loved his green eyes, the way that they showed all his emotions if you looked the right way.

Abby went back and sat down, Tony knew that she would be back on his lap later, but he had one more person to talk to.

Gibbs walked over to Tony, "I have a question, Tony." Gibbs asked carefully, "Do you really not know how important you are to us, me espacially?"

"I... just... my family, made it hard," Tony swallowed hard. He gasped as he was pulled into a hug from Gibbs. He relaxed right away, "I've just always wanted to make you proud."

"You always have," Gibbs whispered back, "You're the best agent I have ever had. Also, you made the right dicission back there. I was just upset, because my plan didn't go according to how I wanted it to go. I'm sorry, son."

Tears came to Tony's eyes as he heard the word "son". "Thank you, Dad." Tony whispered back to him.

Gibbs pulled back, put his finger under his chin, "I love you, son." Tony let the tears fall down his eyes and Gibbs pulled him into another embrace.

"I love you, too, Dad." Tony said taking a deep breath.

Palmer had come back and they sat around and talked for a while, they had some beer, and they were like a big family again.

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><p><strong>I know that it seems sort of a fast ending. <strong>

**I hope to be writing more soon. They probably will be shorter then this one**


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